I am so lost. I always wish that God would heal my pain. To all the widows that have written and shared their stories my heart breaks for you too. She never complained. I am 55 and I lost my first husband 14 years ago to lung cancer. I feel his presence all the time and believe he hears me when I talk to him in private. God bless you. Now it's just a lonely hell. I've told my story hundreds of times of the night that we lost him, but the images keep flooding my mind of that night. I am lucky if I can sleep for 5 hours a night, since that day 5 years ago! I sit alone now in the darkness of despair. Thank you for letting me share a little bit on the loss of my best friend, my rock, and my love. Her family all going well into their 70s and 80s while she got screwed at 62 years! I miss him terribly. Time, just only passes by. Delirium, yes it came on his last week of life. I still have our marriage certificate application stamped by the County of Sonoma waiting for us to turn it in when we got officiated. Where are you? He collapsed at the airport and they took him to a nearby hospital. He is in the rays of light each day, he hears me talk to him, he checks on me . I lost my husband on March 6 of 2015. She was only 62, and I'm 64. I'm devastated. We had a very hard time, but I was happy with him. I find as the years go on my loneliness increases. Poem About Being Lost Without Wife I was down tonight thinking of my wife who passed away in April 2011. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer July 12, 2018 and passed September 23, 2018. Helps to read the feelings others have and are experiencing. John. July 22, 2016, my birthday, I lost the love of my life, Edwin Gonzalez. he replied, "I need to." So until I see him again, and I sincerely know I will, because he was a good Christian man, I will drag on. I get up every day and think it is going to get better, sometimes it does and then it doesn't, unless you are with your friends or family. I am devastated. That gives me a tiny bit of comfort that his very last breath went into my body exactly in our home. I loved deeply, wondrously, and passionately. Your mesmerizing touch. I came here today because I was looking for him. I feel for you, and reading all these posts helps me see I am not the only one who is going out of my mind. I prayed with so many others for him to stay with us. My beloved husband, Paul, who I cry daily to be with, passed away March 25, 2021. When I miss you too much. Initially, part of my grief was to negotiate. I keep hoping and praying I'll wake up from this terrible week and a half dream, but it is never ending. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in February 2006. I lost my husband 8 months ago, and this is how I feel. We kept our spouses' memories alive and celebrated everything with their families also. Tuesday was the day I brought him home. Oh why, why, why, I keep asking. I have lost a son. That is what keeps me going even though the tears still flow and the hurt is still so fresh. He was taken by a cancer when I turned 50. I work because I have no other choice, but everyone says I look terrible. I miss him so much. And missing you. My heart aches so, but I have hope in knowing he is alive in heaven, waiting to see us again. But they did not. I still feel so empty and hope that I will eventually feel like a normal human being again. I miss him so much. I have comfort that he woke to use the bathroom and woke me to tell me he loved me and give me our usual 2 kisses! Grief has no timeframe and will go on as long as it wants. I had been taking care of him more than 10 years. I keep telling myself to just breathe and put one foot in front of the other. We were together for 41 years. I don't think you ever stop missing a loved one. I met him when I was 17 and he was 23. Still I grope in the dark hoping I'll touch him, still I listen to silence hoping he'll say something. We met when I was 22. I lost my husband 2 1/2 years ago, He was such important part of my life, my friend, lover, father to our children and a brother and son. What you have experienced is awful. I cry and don't even realize I am. I still feel him just like his body is still here. He had dementia and Alzheimer's. My husband died in front of me in our living room. My heart aches for him every day, and I am so tired of hearing it gets better with time! It just seems like it is not real. It's hard for them to understand. I am a 55-year-old woman from the Windsor area. The pain I still feel everyday. People think I have moved on but I am not sure I ever will! I can honestly say that things do get better. No one seems to understand. It takes my breath away. My heart's completely broken. They did wear any masks. I miss you when your gone away. I understand completely how you feel, and you're right, you NEVER stop missing a loved one, especially your husband. Sadly that clock stopped at 38 (this year 2 years after would have been the first big one-the 40 and how much I was always looking forward to that number!). It's hard because he was just so amazing and he loved me unconditionally. I certainly didn't know what to do, the nurse's came in and gave him some Morphine. 8. Each day I am certain he is with me . I'm still trying to make since of this. For it desperately seeks. 7. My husband passed on November 12, 2017, and your words are my life right now. Craig, my husband, went in for open heart surgery. Life became too much for him and he couldn't cope. I wanted to retire to travel with her, but now I have nothing but work to keep me going. Happy wedding anniversary to you. See more ideas about grief quotes, miss you mom, grief. My family is here now but soon will return to their own homes. I look back at some weird things that happened and we said. They have their lives. I'm good at pretending to be o.k. Everyone says - give it time - I don't want time - I want him. If ever two were one, then surely we. My remaining son and I just stood there and cried. He lingered 11 days on life support. You melted my heart. I hate what life I have left with NO future as we planned. We spent most of our time together just talking about anything or nothing at all. We both worked almost all our lives for it and this was our payback. I found him 30 minutes later. He was the most loving compassionate man I had ever met. He had to have emergency brain surgery and wasn't responding for almost a week. I lost my husband at 47. I fill my time in as much as possible and wonder if the day will ever come when l will be happy again. My children are the strong ones. I am quiet and not easy to know. We had 4 living children. My husband of 62 years just passed on February 11, 2019, just 3 weeks ago. A few days before his passing, he burst into tears in his hospital bed and said "I can't lose you". I actually felt safe in my own skin with him. Tomorrow would be the 2nd month that my husband passed away, 19 days after being diagnosed with liver cancer. He was always there, unchanging, my rock. Dear Cheryl It's been almost nine months since his passing. I lost my husband almost a year ago to the date, June 23, 2019. I felt so safe with him. The emptiness I feel consumes me and as the days go by it gets harder and harder to go on. I became her full time caregiver. I feel so much pressure from others to move on. Neither of us expected it to go that fast. I miss his love for me, his children, church and community. One foot in front of the other & try to smile! I knew that he loved me, and he knew that I loved him. I know he would want me to go on living. My husband passed away 4 months ago on his way back from business trip. Watching the shadows Until then, I know he would have been proud of my strength. I felt guilty like I murdered the man who loved me. To me those lost anniversaries are what really hit hardest. Hi I lost my darling husband on 5 November 2013. Who is sadly missed. I want you to take away my fear. It was a heart aneurysm. Love you. We never were able to have children. In December John became confused and disoriented. I miss him every minute of every day and I know life will never ever be the same. We experienced all of the for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health before 4. I miss him so bad. I just lost my husband 11 days ago in a tragic accident. As I read this, my skin spiked as your story and mine sound very similar. The devastation I felt is indescribable - a black hole I just couldn't see my way out of. He was my friend, lover, confidant, teacher. May you and your children find strength! I miss him terribly and it hurts. He passed away July 1, 2006. We did everything together. I have to pretend to be happy every day, pretend to be 'normal' whatever that is anymore. He was my everything. He had leukemia, and in spite of horrendous induction chemo, he went in less than 2 months. I exist every day being grateful for 34 years with him. My daughter is getting married this year, and now she will have to do it without her father. Our 16-year-old sleeps with me every night because she doesn't want me to be alone and says her daddy would want her to be with me. We were together for 11 years before he died. We were married 28 years and had 2 children. They had a son and 2 daughters. Michael molded a handprint statute of their hands together and crying tonight with Michael on the phone and said, "I still can't believe your father is gone." I refused to believe the doctors, but he died 18 days later. He began asking me who I am. My fears, remembering the night, reaching for him. He is the love of my life. He fought hard to stay with us. In that time, my daughter and I were waiting for him outside the immigration, but he never come out. We have two children that at the time, were 11 and 1. These messages of love are making me appreciate my loving husband more, and for that I thank ALL of you! I want to honor him every minute of every day. I look forward to joining him one day! Suddenly in April 2018 she went away. My husband died almost a year ago and my boys are only teenagers. He cared enough to try hard. He didn't make it a year. I am so lost without him. They are right next to us. This poem is rather lengthy, but you can share an excerpt from it at your sister's funeral. I cry alone, at night because no one wants to hear I am not doing ok..thank you for sharing ladies, it is comforting knowing I am not alone. The last few weeks he was in such pain, which he hid from me. Just went to his doctor. I can't get through a day without crying my eyes out. Life doesn't mean a lot anymore, Everyday he brought a smile to my face and my heart, and he brought joy to my soul, But Praise be to God, I do have the hope we will be re-united forever one sweet day, Gods blessings to you all. My sweetie died September 4, 2017. Love and Peace, As the 23rd creeps closer, I feel myself not being able to be as strong as everyone has seen me be. When you find your soulmate and think you will be together forever, it just feels like a nightmare. So live your life, laugh again, enjoy yourself T Tamara Young Eulogy Quotes Motivational Quotes Inspirational Quotes I just keep praying for justice and then maybe I can see the light of continuing life without him. He was where he loved and with all the people he loved. Kill yourself when you are depressed? Three years later I think I will try going to a support group again, otherwise I feel I might lose my mind. I held his hand and said "Let's make a pact right here right now that I will never lose you and you will never lose me". They tell me to be strong for the children, which I do. He had a total of 3 open hearts surgeries with 2 of them being 3 months apart. He would have been 72 years old in August of this year. I feel like a boat left to ride the waves and weather the storm. I feel like I am competing sometimes with my mother in law as her failure to move forward at all for my boys means she hurts so much more. Charlene Valladares, Where Are You? Consider sharing the stanza that begins, "There is no friend like a sister, in calm or stormy weather.". It is hard to put on a brave face all of the time but she understands me. Died on Feb. 11, 2017. I miss him so much you see he was the love of my life and a great father and the best papa that ever lived it would have been 35 years on March 31 and now I have nothing but memory to comfort me at night. I was following behind him and witnessed the accident and was first at scene.
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